Saturday, July 11, 2009

DIP O' DOLL-FIN MAN

HI :)

ITS DIP O' DOLL-FIN MAN HERE :)

YOU MAY KNOW MY SON DIP O' DOUCHE CHILD :)












HE'S A LITTLE SQUIRL SHIT :()

SMELLS LIKE FETAS FLUIDS :(

NOT SURE WHY? :<>

ANYWAY, LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF :)














IM HOT!! IN A FORMAL KIND OF WAY :)

I LOOOOOVE TO CUDDLE OTHER MAMMALS AND SPILL MY BEANS ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE :)

I ALSO LOVE MEATY MEN AND TRICK DADDY :)

I DON'T HAVE GENITALS :(

BUT I DO HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS!!!!
PATIENCE.. PATIENCE... :)
READY FREDDY? :))
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IM A GRANDFATHER :)

YES!!!! THERE IS A LITTLE DOLPHIN TUMMY FILLED W/ A BUCKET O' CHILD FLESH :)

MY DIP O' DORCEL DOUCHE GINA HAS BEEN CARRYING A DIP O' DOUCHE LUNCH-PALE FILLED WITH JELLY AND BACON STRIPS. FOR EIGHT WHOLE MONTHS NOW :::)))

SHE DUMPED THE NEWS ON ME LIKE A PILE OF STEAMY SHIT LINKS YESTERDAY :)

THAT GINA KNOWS HOW TO KEEP HER SECRETS :()

LIKE HOW SHE HAS BEEN FLAUNTING HER FIN-GERS AND SNOUT-NOSE ALL OVER THE OCEANLAND :(--)


SHE WAS ALSO INVOLVED IN GROUP PLEASURE










LETS JUST SAY THAT I AM NOT VERY PROUD OF THIS TYPE OF BEHAIVOR :(

PEOPLE ARE TALKING AND ULTIMITLY QUESTIONING MY STATUS AS A PATROL OFFICER : ()

THIS IS ME AT WORK :)

























SO ANYWAY, WITH ALL HER BAD DECISIONS TO MILK THE MILK MAN AND TAUNT THE TURLE HEAD, SHE WAS FORCED UP INTO A PLEASURE TREE :(

I TOOK THIS PICTURE RIGHT BEFORE THE CRIME :(

















THERE WERE MORE PICTURES BUT THERE WAY TOO GRAPHIC FOR THIS G RATED SITE. PLUS, THERE FOR PERSONAL PURPOSES :) i mean :(

BUT ANWAY, SHE FELL IN LOVE AND IS NOW HAPPILY DIVORCED :)


HERE IS MY X SON IN LAW :)



















I HATE THIS LITTLE CROTCH-SORE-HOOD-THIEF :(


I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE CAN'T JUST FIND A GOOD SOLID GENTLEFIN LIKE MY GOOD
BUDDY NURSE. NOW THATS A GOOD CHOICE :)


HERE IS ME AND NURSE PLAYING GAMES :)























CONT..






CONT..





CONT..



THREE YEARS LATER....





HI FOLKS :)






IT'S ME DIP O' DOLL-FIN MAN :)







I LOOK THE EXACT SAME AS I DID THREE YEARS AGO :)


ISN'T THAT SO FUN :)


I BET YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN WONDERING HOW MY NEW GRAND O' SLUT IS DOING :)


WELL, ILL TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH FOLKS, IM WONDERING THE SAME GD THING :()


NOW, I DID RECEIVE A POST CARD IN THE MAIL THAT RAISES A FEW QUESTIONS :)




I WAS HOPING YOU FOLKSTERS COULD HELP ME OUT WITH DECODING THIS UNUSUAL PICTURE :) ?? :)


NOW, I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR A LONG TIME AND THIS IS WHAT I HAVE COME UP WITH :)


THERE IS OBVIOUSLY A YOUNG ASIAN ENJOYING THE SMOOTH COAT OF A BOTTLENOSE DOLPHIN :)


THERE IS ALSO A VERY OBVIOUS GRIN PAINTED ON FACE OF THIS INFLATABLE CROTCH ROCKET :)


I ALSO NOTICED THAT THE DOLPHIN IS NOT PLAYING ANY GAMES :) IF YOU NOTICE THE DOLPHIN HAD A PURPOSE FOR THIS CHILD BY DECIDING TO PROVIDE BLACK HANDLES AND A COLLAPSING BACK SIDE :()


THE CHILD ALSO HAS A PURPOSE TO PLEASE :) IM JUST NOTICING THE SKIMPY OUTFIT AND PIG TAILS :)

THE DOLPHIN SEEMS TO BE HORNY:)

THIS JUST CAUSES ME TO BE FRUSTRATED :()

PLEASE HELP!!!!

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Dixie Catfish Employees

Ok, here at D.C.A.H.B.O.C.E.B. we get over 1000 requests per day to see who and what works behind the dark curtains of our creative department on the 6th floor of our headquarters. The creative department serves our fanbase by putting together insightful posts that simply drip humor and sexual tension on a weekly basis. In other parts of the building, our cat scientists and smartgenius crew mix important chemicals that change colors and fizz, giving important fields the chemical mixing reactions that they need badly to do the science-y things that we all need as an advanced nation. Today, however, we introduce to you the employees of the creative department here at Dixie International L.L.C. - enjoy......! Assholes!














1)

Hi! I'm George. I work with people here in the office and enjoy rubbing myself at inappropriate times. No, you cannot ride me - never ask me that again, you racist piece of cat litter. I mean, do I LOOK like a horse to you? No, I don't - you're GD blind man. Nope, I don't. I gotta get back to work now.











2)

Hey y'all! My name is Rocky and I'm a virgin! I'm the kind one in the office. I usually find pictures for the authors and fetch coffee and scrumptious pastries for everyone to keep everyone's mood high! Can't ever do too much for your friends ya know! And boy do I have a lot of wonderful friends - I seem to be pretty popular with the ladies around here too (wink wink) probably because of the killer shoulder rubs I give (I get compliments all the time on them!) Sometimes it seems that I am really a great friend to all the lovely ladies around here, like when they tell me about their boyfriend problems or when they punch me in the arm and tell me "hey buddy!" but I also know that I'm really a sweet, kind and gentle guy - and I KNOW women love my type of personality! I'll tell you the truth for a minute; there is a young lady here in the office that I truly have my lovin' eyes set upon - and I may try and court her affection. I KNOW she likes me too, it's VERY obvious. Her name is Veronica, and me and Veronica have a special kind of friendship; it's something that's hard to explain and even her live-in boyfriend is not privy to what we have between us. She shares things with me: like how her menstrual pains hurt her and why Cathy's dress looks stupid on her...things like this. We have this bond - and I bring her her favorite hot chocolate everyday. When I bring her things and tell her that her hair looks soft and smells of flowers, she laughs heartily at me! I mean she laughs with me. Women love a cute boy like me who can make them laugh! She signs her requests for specific types of food for me to go and fetch with a "love ya!" at the end, and just last week we ran into each other outside of work and she walked the other way after giving me a smile that would light the heart of any ole boy! No, we didn't talk - but I know that's because we don't have to. We have a connection that goes beyond stopping to acknowledge my existence at the mall. Best of all, she likes my quirky personality. You know those movies where the slightly awkward(ok, maybe I am! lol lol lol)but quirky guy with a heart of gold get the girl!? Thats me! I dress a little nerdy, but just because I want a nice girl to help me with my clothing choices at the store just like the movies! I have a "unique" personality and an "interesting" face. I don't work out or play sports at all - I am too sensitive for that. Plus, those big, tan jock guys are all muscle and no brains, right? I'm not like that and Veronica sees that. I'm going to ask her out next week, and I KNOW she's gonna fall for my quirky attitude and interesting fucking face! Lord knows I need a little ole piece 'a pussy!




3)

What's shakin. I don't work too hard, but what I DO is take women and men in the restroom and fuck em. Real hard. Blow me, faggot.



Friday, June 26, 2009

Doc Hollidays Top Ten Comedies of All Time


1. Dumb and Dumber

2. Ace Ventura

3. Austin Powers 2

4. Zoolander

5. The Anchorman

6. National Lampoon's Vacation

7. Tommy Boy

8. Billy Madison

9. National Lampoon's Vacation Christmas Vacation

10. Wedding Crashers

Thursday, June 18, 2009

King James

Yo, this is King James. Fool, don’t act like you don’t know me. Quick description; Tough, sweaty, and black. Guess what? I will hump a rabbit and eat it for breakfast. What did I say? That’s right, you don’t know cause your too busy thinking about how tough, sweaty and black I am punk. Eat it!! I will end a long game of monopoly right now by taking a poo-bear on the board. You think you won?? Well you didn’t cause there is a piping hot pile of fecal matter sitting quietly on the board. Get it?? This is how I play the game, basketball, donkey kong, operation I don’t care what it is. Oh, you want to talk NBA?? - Well I have been, can’t you tell?? I set the expectation level for all the chumps in the league, like Dirk and Nash, and what about old Birdie Bird. What a bunch a chumpshit. I can jump high, jam the ball right in the hoop and scream out like a gorilla being rapped. You want some? Come get it. But you can’t have a refund. Once you take it you got it, and it’s cold. Cold like the bottom pits of my heart. I don’t think you get it dog. “Chuckle, chuckle” I will jump up and come down on your face with my nutsack/snackpack. Touch it fool. Now, get off if it. You’ve had your taste, for now. That’s right. Did I mention I can shoot? Get ready. What’s a percentage? I make shots when they go in brotha, brawth, breath. They count more when you’re in my face and I yell out words that don’t make sense like “booya foooooot’ and “krisss kross will mayk yah” or my `favorite “eat a diicc fooo”. I don’t know what any of that means but its clever. Don’t question my performance on or off the court. I get in trouble sometimes when I take my cloths off and lay naked on the bathroom floor of a restaurant. People just walk in and flip, they don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I just lay there quietly like my fecal matter on your board game. I laugh it up inside though “chuckle, chuckle”, I love the moist bathroom tile on my bottom flesh. One time this guy just walked in not even fazed by my nakedness on the floor or my steamroller. He just did his business and walked out. I couldn’t believe it. He had to have noticed me. Its not everyday you see a black man lying naked on white tile in the middle of a public restroom. Another time some man came in and lied down on my chest and fell asleep. I was like “what”? I’m King James not Queen James. Touch Down!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The NBA In Five Simple Steps

Business Plan







Strategy








Determination







The Confidence in knowing your the best







Victory (always)







Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Hey man, you know how it is....haha I mean ya know? haha


Well hello sirs, my name is Beas.... my name is John. As you can see I am on the right of the picture and my future girlfriend is on the left. I am just your average big guy, with some facial hair lol and some regular ole comfy clothes that I wear. I am pretty much like y'all ya know, like a cold beer and hangin' with the boys. I don't really have any boys but man you know, we all talk but none of us really have friends haha, ya know - we all just act like it. I do wear some clothes that most people don't, but I mean ya know we're just guys and I like to sport a funny cape now and then haha lol ya know what I mean? Like superman its funny, I am that popular ole guy who wears different things and people like me for it. I'm not really lol but I should be ya know? The girl in the picture is gonna be my girl. She doesn't really wanna date me now ya know? but us regular guys who aren't perfect-looking and are maybe shaped a little weird have a rough go lol ya know haha but she'll see the light after she dates some of these hotboyz with less hair and normal face and all that blah blah blah. Y'all know how it is right? to be regular guy like me and try to struggle to be normal in society, right? I mean we all act like we have friends and don't shit in the forest and howl sometimes... but we all do it ya know? Yah, you know lol haha, we really don't hang out or have friends really... not like we act like at least haha ya know? I'm just your regular, kinda hairy guy who has some floppy ears and a good ole boy face ya know? Yah, maybe we should have beers sometime and hang out, people will stare at me but they always stare at us guys don't they? I mean we always get stared at an mocked a little bit from time to time in public places don't we? haha lol. Yah, we're all the same.

I am a BEAST and I will fucking RAPE! This beer tastes like piss! I love it. You smell like hell, I love it. That sandwich sucks ass, tastes shitty like old meat - gimme more of it. Every time I look at you I want to vomit. Stare at me now. That dip you have is cheap shit and dry, shit fucking sucks. I want some. Got DAMN! I am in a rage, I am not HUMAN! F-ing look at me! How can you not tell I am an ANIMAL! I FUCK! a lot. That chicken is rotten, put it on a sandwich for me! That car is a piece of shit, I want it. The air down here smells like vagina, I want cologne that smells like it. That fish is old, I will eat it. Your wife is a fat lard, I love her. Get down on your knees and eat me. I want that. This food is fucking terrible! I love it.

RAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR, I am no regular guy, I am a GD BEEEEASSSSST!

That bitch is hot, I hate that.

Hump me tons.

Friday, November 16, 2007

The Sheep for Everyone

Have you been waiting, young children? Have you been waiting for meeeeeeeee? Don't be shocked and please don't be hard-as-a-rock now, friends. My face has come to be the answer to all questions and all desires. Why should you suffer? You should suffer... but I am here to possibly end your wordly pain. Maybe. Who am I? you ask - well, I am a lot of things to a lot of people: a savior, a prince, a wise and salty leadership man, a guru, a god to most and all if at least some, and a peace-loving creature man that wishes to cradle you in my love and future soft heated fur. The world has waited for me for some time now, and I know you have strained in your trousers for me and what I have to offer. Do I have powers? you may come and stand near to feel the powers that I might have. I am given from the heavens down to your sweet candy world in a bed made of sweet sex and candycanes and I float on a cloud of marshmallow and babies and angel feathers... what did you say? I am nothing more than a horrible, ugly sheep-beast-man with a pack a day smoking habit and a torn-off-penis from Oklahoma City?....

Fuck you